is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize