I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am naked and annoyed.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
