Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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