Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
