it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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