im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize