this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
