How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
