What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize