I cannot find my penis.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
