i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
