worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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