She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
