am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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