Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
