My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
