He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
