They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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