I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize