what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
