he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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