So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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