I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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