ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize