Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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