i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
