i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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