And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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