so explain again why im purple
no
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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