Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
