Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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