1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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