Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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