I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
