Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
and you fell through a lawn chair
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
