I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
