We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
