oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
