You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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