i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
