are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
