singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
