i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
