ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
