We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
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What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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