i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
