do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
