I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
