dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
