Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
