I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize