Already got asked if we're dating
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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