awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
