WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The power of my boobs compel you
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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