Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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