the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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