I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
