the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
